I always thought my girlfriend was mad - but now I'm sure! She's a complete nutter! Perhaps I was partly to blame. You see, she's been off sex recently, so I bought a Fleshlight shaped like a porn star's cunt. Just as I was settling down she found me and went berserk, slapping my cock until I promised to throw the thing away before my bell end turned blue! She stormed off, taking the Fleshlight with her. Now I have to buy a new one. This could be an expensive hobby.
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